MsJ welcomes “The FABULOUS Ms. J” to Our Team. Ms. J is a Wellness Blogger who will focus on fostering the creation of a positive mindset and overall well being. WELCOME Ms. J!!!

Ever wondered about how you became the way your are?  Why you behave the way you do?  Why you seem to tolerate the nonsense that you do, or why you keep making the same type of mistakes over and over again?  What about the type of relationships you get involved in?  Or maybe perhaps, the type of lifestyle you choose to live in?  Yes I said it, you CHOOSE to be in…

Learning involves the acquisition of new knowledge, skills, or responses from experience that result in a relatively permanent change in the state of the learner (Schacter, Gilbert, Wegner, 2011).   The new knowledge or skill may be positive or negative.  It can be a benefit to you and your future or it can be a detriment casing havoc in everything you do. It can contribute to a faulty mindset, shaping all your future experiences in a negative light, thus leaving you with negative outcomes.

The three components of learning are based on experience, learning produces that contribute change in the person, and learning through basic observation.  The three major approaches to learning (also known as associative learning) are: classical conditioning, operant conditioning and observational learning.  In this article, I will focus on classical conditioning.

Classical conditioning is a term that was developed by well known psychologist, Ivan Pavlov.  He performed many famous research experiments in the early twentieth century, and the phenomenon he explored is duly called, classical conditioning. Ivan Pavlov stated, “Experimental investigation…should lay a solid foundation for a future true science of psychology”(Myers 2014).   In classical conditioning, it is said that your programming may occur unconditionally during childhood (both positive or negative).  We are programmed to think, behave and/or respond in certain ways (positive or negative), producing certain types of outcomes (positive or negative).  We have to have an understanding of this fact to better foster the need for positive change.

John Watson is another famous researcher who believed that the science of psychology should study how organisms responded to stimuli in their environments, he quotes, “It’s theoretical goal is the prediction and control of behavior” (Myers, 2014).   So in order words, researchers study how we, the organism, based on exposure to certain environments (good or bad), will behave.  They can also predict how we will respond to certain object, situations, or events, based on what was learned from our past experiences.

Pavlov and Watson were pioneers in experimental research within psychology.  It is important that we all recognize the significant difference between researching with emotion and researching within behaviorism.  This can also be compared to nurture versus nature because, every organism, every mammal, is going to develop and act accordingly to their environment (Myers, 2014).

It is time to start wondering how you can further understand why and how you became the way you are today.   It is time to recognize both the positive and negative thoughts that create simple habits that lead to certain behaviors resulting in the life you have today. It is time for you to decide that enough is enough, and make a plan to get you out of the “rutt” that you are in, and set goals for a happier and more prosperous future.  LEARN MORE HERE!

REFERENCES:  Myers, David G. (2014). Psychology Tenth Edition in Modules. Holland, Michigan: Worth Publishers. Schacter, Gilbert, Wegner (2011). Understanding Psychology.   Henke, Scott E. (2007). Do White-Tailed Deer React to the Dinner Bell? An Experiment in Classical Conditioning. Wildlife Society Bulletin, Volume 25, 291-295.

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Right now if you’re down and out or feeling lonely, this article was written just for you.  You may be feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders or you just don’t belong.  You may feel like nothing good is ever going to happen to you and that life is just boring and unadventurous.

I am here to tell you, nothing could be further than the truth.  Why, because you truly are special!  Believe me when I tell you.  From your hair down to your toes you are special because there is no one else like you.  Nobody!  No one else can acquire the hidden gifts that lay within you heart and soul.  No one else can bring such joy and peace to others.  No one else has your spirit.

Everyone is good at something.  Yes, even when you think you’re not.  There is something in this world that no one can do just like you.  No one!  Do you paint beautifully, have a way with words or a lyrical ear?  Put your talent behind something that makes you shine because there is no one around that does things like you do. Shine I tell you, shine!

Everyone is special in their own way.  Everyone brings something unique to the world.  But nobody have brought what you were put here to bring.  People will try to stop you from feeling special and that is usually because they don’t feel special about themselves.  Get those nasty nay-sayers out of your life so that you can shine at your brightest.

There are many jobs out there that are making people feel as if they’re not special.  Managers who don’t feel good about themselves and their lives, try to belittle others in an attempt to feel good.  Those are not jobs or people that you want to stay around much longer.  A good employer knows how valuable you are to the company.  Continue to work hard (and smart), so even on your job you are special!

Get up and show the world how special you are; don’t let those negative thoughts get you down any longer.  Change your mindset and change your habits!   Start living like the special person you are!

As always, keep your head up!

–Ms. J

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Ziggy Banner

So I’m about to go out with my friend Lisa (names changed for privacy).  We were just sitting in my room doing absolutely nothing and all of a sudden we decide to get cute.  Who knows what the night might bring, you never know.

As Bev always says, look good FEEL GOOD!!   And that’s the motto we go by! Lisa and I looked good to begin with, but we decided to turn it up a notch and add a little sparkle to our do’s!  We have no idea where we’re going, if we’re even going out… but when the time comes, you want to always be ready!  Like I said, you never know what could happen!

Getting ready is always a fun and exciting time of day!  Music blasting, conversation with friends or just thinking thoughts alone… Deciding what makeup to put on or if you’re going to where your hair up or down! It’s just fun!

What are you going to wear… How do you want to look today!?  Do you want to be girly in a dress or rock out with some studded boots and moto-jacket!?  Do you want to put your hair in a  messy bun or spend the 25 minutes blow-drying and straightening it?! The world is at your fingertips… You can look literally however you want every day! It is all up to you!

Looking good not just for other people, but for YOURSELF, is a big factor when getting ready!  If you are looking your best, nine times out of ten your self esteem will go bursting out the roof!  You will be confident all day, and who knows… you just might meet Mr. Right. Or, Mr. Right now!

If you don’t put your all in getting ready, you might not feel up for today’s challenges!  When I get ready for the day, I try to look as good as looking casual will let me!  I’m wearing regular clothes, nothing too flasy… but I’m comfortable and ready for whatever today brings.

I can go out, I can stay in, I can run to Walmart and get a pack of bagels.  Whatever happens, I will be ready!  And you should be too!  That’s what every day is about, looking your best and feeling your absolute best!  You’ll thank me later ladies, you’re welcome!

Until next time ladies, Stay beautiful. Stay positive. Stay YOU!


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Life often comes with its constant challenges: money, relationships, job issues.  However, one thing always remains the same: LIFE IS GOOD!  That’s right!  No matter what you’re going through, you have to keep thinking, life is good.  Seeing how great life is requires constant positive thinking and it’s not that hard.  You MUST make the choice to believe life is good.  Changing your mindset is the #1 way to change your life.

One of the best ways to change that pessimistic attitude to optimistic is to be grateful for the things in you life. Become excited about the people (non-TOXIC) that love you, the home you have and the health you posses.

Are you saying: but I don’t have those things.  I can’t pay my rent, my relationships aren’t working or my health is failing me. While all of those things can get you down, positive thinking can honestly turn things around.  The more positive you think, the more you’ll strive to make positive changes in your life.  It’s been seen many times that optimistic thinking has known to elevate people’s health and dramatically improve their love life.  Really!  So many scientific and psychological studies are done on positive thinking.  Bev is always talking about using Positive Psychology in her classes and coaching.

It’s important that you get excited about what you have going on in your life right now and in the future. Life is so unpredictable which means that amazing and exciting things can happen at anytime!

You are never to old or too young to be excited about your life. When you believe that your life is good so does everyone round you! You glow with a new brightness that spreads to other people and changes the world around you one step at a time.  No matter what, you need to remember everyday that LIFE IS GOOD!

As always, keep your head up!

–Ms. J

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Dating and relationship success begins with having a healthy relationship with yourself.  When a person believes in his/her self and their ability to do well in relationships, then they are more likely to succeed in their dating and relationship goals.   Lets face it, a person feels put down and has a low level of self-esteem, they are less likely to feel that desire to work towards their relationship goals (if any).

In an article written by Panos Mourdoukoutas, he explains six rules of personal success.  First, he states that in order to be successful you need to get your priorities straight.  A person needs to have the ability to make good choices for themselves. He also states that we should use our resources wisely.  We need to be able to make the best out of the resources that we have available to us.  We need to stay focused… and staying focused means sticking with your priorities and goals.

Everyone longs to love and be loved by someone.  For some people, they believe that it is their path to a life of happiness. The number one key factor in having a successful relationship is being able to communicate with the other person.  You cannot have a successful relationship where discussions are few in between.  Both parties in the relationship should know where the relationship is going and/or where that relationship will eventually go.

Murko states that couples should “discuss what you each expect out of the relationship, what you’re committing to, and what your respective roles will be.”  He also states another important factor in having a successful relationship is respecting the other.  You need to be able to “listen without judgment.”    It is great to be able to help them with their weaknesses and support their strengths. You also need to be caring and understanding.  You should want to do things that make the other person happy.  Not because you have to, but because you want too.

Personal relationship success takes some work on your part as well as your partner.  Invest time and dedication in making sure that both your needs are met to ensure a fulfilled positive association.  I cannot stress enough the following fact:  If you want a successful relationship, you must first have a healthy relationship with YOURSELF!  For more strategies on dating and relationships, CLICK HERE.

Boot Camp for the Broken Hearted is an intensive program designed to assist folks who is suffering from a broken heart with their healing journey.

It is understandable that one may suffer emotional turmoil after the break-up of a romantic relationship, especially if that relationship was considered long-term.  Break-ups can occur leaving one party totally blindsided and feeling lost within themselves and unable to set a plan in place for moving forward.

There are various levels of grief ranging from mild to profound.  Grief is defined as a state of extreme sorrow, typically caused by the death of a loved one or the ending of a romantic relationship.  This program focuses on sorrow from the break-up of a romantic dating relationship and/or divorce.

Some people become devastated with sorrow and disappointed from the break-up and need outside assistance to help them through their situation.  This program in not a psychotherapeutic program, but rather an educational program consisting of intensive interactive video lectures coupled with personal coaching sessions.

The 5 Stages of Grief include: 1) Denial and isolation 2) Anger   3) Bargaining 4) Depression 5) Acceptance

Learn more –>> CLICK HERE!

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Social Networks

In my 30-Day Relationship Detox Boot Camp, I tell women to STOP DATING for at least 30 Days.  Relationship Detox is when you press the pause button on all toxic relationships in your life.  You STOP Dating, you STOP Hanging out with Toxic Negative Friends, and You STOP thinking about how other people WILL make you Happy.

Detoxifying allows you to get your life into perspective and take charge of your mindset, emotions and responsibility to yourself.   In order to be a worthy partner to a worthy partner, you need to love YOURSELF first.  You need to take responsibility for your habits and actions that lead to engrained habitual behaviors that keep you stuck in a never-ending cycle of unhealthy relationships.

So the big question is WHY the need to STOP dating.  Why can’t women learn new dating techniques from this program while dating?  Why do women have to put their dating life of hold in order to learn new skills?  Why is it necessary for women to end all past dating relationships?  And the list goes on and on…

So I am going to change the focus from all the other women out there, and I am going to put my focus on only YOU!  You need to take a deeper look into your past dating relationships.  You need to be honest with yourself and me, about the real aspects of those relationships.  Why did you get into a relationship with someone knowing full well that they were not suitable for you?  Why did you ignore ALL the red flags?  Why did you continue dating him even after he showed you who he really is?   Not was, but is…. Yes, who he really is!  The abuser, the drunk, the womanizer, the cheater, the hermit, the closed-minded, the non-committed, the narcissist, etc.

The common denominator in all those relationships is YOU.  We have to get YOU operating in the right direction.   We have to heal your inner-self and create a new outer image that speaks to the world who YOU really are.  We have to retrain YOUR mindset from the negative to the positive.  We have to learn new skills for YOU to have a better life, sense of self, relationship, and future. But we can’t do anything until YOU decide that YOU are ready for positive change in your life.

It is time for you to take action and start living your most FABULOUS life.  Let us work together on your journey to a new and wonderful you.  A more confident and happier you.  The first step is to STOP Dating.  The next step is to sign up for classes and coaching with me.  Chick Here for more Info.

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Ziggy Banner

I’m not talking about a college text book, ladies… I’m talking about 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James or The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston… books that stimulate your mind, in more ways than one might I add!

Books that let your imagination run wild!  I love reading a good book and making the pictures up in my head as I go along!  It feels good to be the director of the movie playing in your head!  When you’re reading a book as I said a second ago, it gives you the chance to really picture how you want the story to look in your mind.  You see the characters how you imagine them, you picture their voice in your head, and you see their actions perfectly!

When I read 50 Shades of Grey, I literally say every single detail in my head as I read each word!  Every sentence, thought, touch, emotion, action… I saw it all!  By the way, I just saw the movie in the movie theater, and I must say that my little movie in my head was ten times better!

Books have more detail than movies and television, and the story doesn’t have to be condensed into thirty minutes or an hour.  Instead weeks take place, months, even years! You take your own commercial breaks, and when you come back you just pick up where you left off.

Books can also be really descriptive.  I’ve read books that are kinkier than most porns out there!  It’s true!  It’s full of detail and exact-ness, if that makes sense.  Everything is just more vivid when you’re reading the story, not watching it!  Try this…. think of a popular movie that you absolutely loved… whether it was a drama film or  a love story.  Now, go out and get the book and read it from finish to start!  And ask yourself what was better, the movie or the book.  I can literally guarantee you that you’re going to like the book better.

Reading also gives you a chance to get some new words in that vocabulary!  Read a book and watch how you find yourself using new and cool words in every day conversation without even noticing it..  It’s kinda cool!  Who wouldn’t want to expand their vocab and sound just a little smarter!? Exactly!

When you’re stuck in the house on a beautiful day watching TV, you’re doing just that… being stuck in the house!  How about you put that new pretty dress you’ve been wanting to wear for the longest, and go to the beach and open a good book! You never know who you’re going to meet down there, maybe your latest man candy! :)

Bottom line, there are a zillion benefits to reading books vs. watching television!  So when you’re done reading this article, go check out a used book store and find something that catches your eye!  Head down to the local beach or park and get your read on girl!  You’ll thank me later. You’re welcome :)

Until next time ladies, Stay beautiful. Stay positive. Stay YOU!


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